Breast Feeding Complicates Child Visitation Issue in Divorce
In Center Township, Indiana, a divorce battle revolving around breast feeding, child visitation and attachment parenting is brewing.
Melisa Carter-Chenoweth and her husband have an 18-month-old daughter and are currently going through a divorce. Mrs. Carter-Chenoweth breast feeds her child and fears that any overnight visits that the child has with Mr. Chenoweth will interrupt the breast feeding schedule and throw her efforts at attachment parenting off course.
Attachment parenting is a method of parenting that involves, as the name suggests, the development of a physical and emotional bond between a parent and child. Mothers who practice attachment parenting techniques generally breast feed their children on demand, co-sleep with them and often carry them in slings that allow the mother and child to be in constant contact. Attachment parenting also takes a gentle approach to disciplining children.
Mrs. Carter-Chenoweth denies that she wishes to deny her husband child visitation with 18-month-old Sarah for the long term, but she has asked the court to deny Mr. Chenoweth's requests for overnight visitation with Sarah until the child decides on her own to stop breast feeding. She says that she only wants what is best for their children.
Mr. Chenoweth is supportive of his wife's interest in attachment parenting, but says that he should also be given the opportunity to bond with and parent his daughters. The couple's older daughter, Lauren, was 2 1/2 years old when she decided that she no longer wanted to breast feed. Mr. Chenowith hopes to not wait that long until he can have overnight visits with Sarah.
Sarah eats solid foods but still relies on breast feeding for comfort and nutrition. Mr. Chenoweth suspects that at this point the child receives more comfort than nutrition from nursing. He would like to compromise with his wife about child visitation.
The NWI Times reported that Mr. Chenoweth proposes that the overnight child visitation start slowly, with him having his daughters for one overnight visit a week at first. The Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines recommends that siblings of divorcing or divorced parents be kept together during child visitation.
Since the parents have been unable to agree on a compromise, a hearing on the matter of child visitation has been scheduled and lawyers on both sides are gearing up for what may be a one-of-a-kind battle in divorce court.
Attachment parenting advocates say that the evidence is on Mrs. Carter-Chenoweth's side and that this approach to parenting creates healthier and happier children. Robin Joyce, president of the Hebron-based group CHOICES, or Choices in Healthy-birthing, Offering Information, Communication, Education and Support, says that attachment parenting is an "intuitive thing" between a mother and her child. Joyce says that mothers have listened to the advice of doctors, family members and friends for so long that they have lost touch with their intuition.
Attachment Parenting International says that the goal of attachment parenting is to form and nurture strong connections between parents and their children. Fathers are encouraged to take part in attachment parenting by holding the children, playing with them, co-sleeping with them and caring for them. However, Attachment Parenting International and other attachment parenting advocates have failed to factor divorce into the attachment parenting plan. While fathers obviously cannot breast feed their children, there are many other ways that they can bond and form healthy relationships with their children, even during life after divorce.
